have you ever seen the movies where the dude always chases the girl of his dreams but he does every thing right and they get together and every little thing goes right. OK now lets bring it to reality. so far i have seen the girl of my dreams and realize that there is no way in hell i could ever meet and talk to her. unlike the movies when they meet the eyes for the first time they connect, but in my life they are always looking at their phone or talking to their friend. and whenever i do meet the girl it would never work out and they just want to be friends. the movie that describes my whole life is (500) days of summer, where the girl you tried so hard to get and it seems like everything is going great and she ends up dumping you because she isn't ready for a relationship, and at the end of the movie she meets up and tells the dude she got married. i don't ever get people, the lies they say just so they wont hurt you. all romantic movies are depressing.

some say its jelousy. i call it depression

every time I'm around my older brother or at the fields. to see his image on the field i visit most of the weekend lowers my chin to the ground. to hear his walk up song and everyone cheering for him as he steps in the box gives me chills that run through my whole body. then hearing the sound of the ball hit the bat and the crowd screams to the top of their lunges as i space off dreaming about times where i could have but then realize that i never did. and as my dreams fall apart his begins and never ends and i will still support him but will never forget my torturous past.