Wednesday, June 15, 2011
what if
what if my life was perfect, if everything just went as planned, or what my parent wanted it to go. what if i was born rich and everyone liked me for who i was, how come all the rich people got the chance to run everything. how come there is no perfect life. why did everything go wrong my senior year what made it were one person decided my fate for the rest of my life. why just why. i just dont get anything any more all i want to do is roll up in a ball and sleep for the rest of my life. i know i can do something to change lifes but there is no way i could do anything that i imagine. just what if i had the money to take music lessons and had the music center in my house, it would be all perfect but then i wouldnt be here i would have the perfect life the girl of my dream on the tip of my finger dreaming of me but its never like that. so far this life makes me think that life is a thousand ways to fail.
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Gah. I've failed so many times, in so many ways. Last year I was contemplating suicide, I was so depressed.
ReplyDeleteThe thing that got me out of that was the realization that no matter how deep a hole I (or others) dig for me, the love of God goes deeper.
When I turned the whole mess over to Him, things started to get straightened out. There are still scars, still pain, still memories. And I still fail.
But He's always faithful.